I'm getting old. Every wrinkle that appears whether thin or clear strengthens this fact. I'm not afraid of getting old, are you? The next thing which is inevitable is death. I'm neither scared of it. The next lines shall hopefully make it clear as to why I am not afraid of dying.
My life was on the verge of destruction. The Lord knows every intimate detail of it. I am too ashamed to speak about my filthy past. It will not be relayed here and if your curious minds are made to wonder with these lines, I couldn't help but leave you curious. My Lord Jesus knew it all. No detail of it was left unseen before the all-knowing God. Yet, I wonder! How could God yet love me despite of me? Jesus is the Only Savior of the World! He is my Savior. Had the Lord not rescued me my life would be inconceivably horrendous. Imagine being young and so fragile and yet being so distorted! I was in that place. A place where darkness has got me, where hope seemed to fade away slowly but surely before my eyes. How could I ever get to savor a life like my life now is purely astounding. Totally undeserved! There is just but two words --- God's grace! Today, i want to bring God the glory and honor and praise that He alone is worthy to receive. I want to share with you the reason of my joyful singing, the reason for my tears of joy and gratefulness. You see, it is not about this life on earth but the life after. If it's only about this life why I need Jesus, then all of you might just scoff at me for a good reason. The apostle Paul brings it to a point: If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied. 1 Corinthians 15:19 I need Jesus because I need forgiveness for my sins. I needed salvation for my soul which was on the verge of sure destruction in hell. I need Jesus because He is the LIFE, the WAY, the TRUTH. In no way, can I be heaven by the Father apart from Him. What was it that made it difficult for me to come to Jesus? My love for my sins. I thought at first, i've done horrible things. Who doesn't? I blamed my young age and even God for why had He allowed things to happen. Later did I know, it had to happen for me to understand that i totally need a Savior. My pride has been exceedingly great. My other sins were petty and i couldn't be that bad, so my depraved mind thought. My standards of morality were low. It held the people in prison on the background. I looked clean in comparison to them. The Lord Jesus in His grace and mercy, draw me near to Him. He granted me eyes that see how much of a sinner I am and how wonderful of a Savior He is. Jesus alone can save me and yes He saved me. He has granted me faith to believe Him. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by Me. Listen if you have ears. You too can be saved from an eternity in hell. The matter of salvation is way too important to be put off as a thing for tomorrow. Get right with God now. Turn away from your sins and put your trust in Jesus completely for your salvation. The moment you do that, you will be a new person. No longer you who lives but Christ in you. You will get a new heart that desires to walk in holiness, to obey God and His statutes. No one loves likes Jesus. Who would give their life for sinners? None but He alone. We broke God's laws. Jesus paid the fine. That's what happened on the cross. Oh how i love Jesus because He first loved me.
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On the 6th of May 2023, a historic event happened in London and we were there. My husband and I, by the grace of the Lord were able to participate in a big evangelism event during this day. Ephesians 5:17 says, ''making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.''People are flocking to the event. The city is jam-packed with multitudes consisting of both locals and visitors. It was my first time to see people putting up their tents on the sides of the streets to secure their places the night before in anticipation of the event. They were making sure that they are not missing out but be able to see the royals as they pass by. I was astonished. Never have I experienced seeing such a high quantity of elation in this fashion. The evangelism despite of a rainy day still happened. We didnt see the royal family by chance. Unlike many others, we were there to make use of a once in a lifetime opportunity to reach out to hundreds of thousands of people in one day with the glorious gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. We have worked together with hundreds of brethren from all over the world in giving out gospel tracts. On that day seeds were planted. The day after the coronation, as we took a stroll in the city we saw evangelism books which were left behind. I'm pretty sure that those who left them prayed that the books be in the proper hands. We were grateful that they were intact and did not get wet at all. Each book was consequently distributed as well.
My dear friends, there could be a lot to say about London but it would be a waste of time if you have to listen to the impressions i have about the city. All i know is that, the level of excitement among those who waited overnight was astounding. I've never seen such high magnitude of expectation. How I pray we as believers are just like that when it comes to the coming back of our Lord Jesus Christ. For many of us, the second coming of the Lord is such a strange subject. It is only strange because the meaning of the first coming is yet for the majority unknown. Let me talk to you about the first coming of the Lord Jesus Christ which already did happen. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”--Jesus Are you a sinner? Have you ever seen yourself in need of God's forgiveness? Or can it be that you rather consider yourself good hence righteous? Therefore, you are not the one reason why Jesus came for? Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Do you see yourself as someone who's deserving of a death penalty? To be honest with you, I called myself a sinner too and yes I needed forgiveness for sure. Although i thought subconsciously that there's a lot of worse sinners than me and I am not that bad at all in my eyes. I even considered myself good. The thing is I was self-righteous and it is a sin. The severity of my sinfulness was unbeknownst to me then. Till the pure and holy law of the Lord made me realize I am not good at all. Raised as catholic, though not that substantial in years I never thought that the concept of venial and mortal sins would be a solid barrier of me understanding the gospel. It was there, the belief that because I didn't commit mortal sins I need not to fear hell. While I know Jesus died for my sins and I believed that, I also was somehow strengthened through the years not by God's word but with man-made teachings of my self-righteousness. I was doomed. Though i am totally reliant of God's mercy, a big part of me could not understand why when i am not that bad anyway. By the grace of the Lord, I came across biblical truths like total depravity of man and if you only knew how that doesn't sit well with my self-righteous heart. It was painful to be lied to and to be so deluded. The Holy Spirit has shown me how much of a sinner I am through the 10 commandments. I have broken all of them. I hated which is murder equivalent in the eyes of God. I have lusted in my heart. I too was an adulteress at heart. Definitely, i have made an image of a god in which i feel comfortable with and who is ok with my sins too. Yes, guilty of idolatry here. Not to mention the lies, the stealings and yes i am not all out in honoring my mother too. The list goes on and on but topping them all is my self-righteousness. I thought i was good but no I'm not just like the rest of mankind. The realization of my sinfulness hit me so hard. It brought me to a place of repentance. I am deeply sorry for the sins that I have done against the LORD. Rightfully so. Now that I see the truth about myself, I now understand how great is the love of God for me. He died on the cross for my sins. Jesus gave his life as a ransom for mine. I should have faced the wrath of God for my sins but God has given me grace because of what Christ has done. Jesus died for the sins of the world but only those who repent and put their trust in Jesus completely will have everlasting life. One day you will stand before God on the day of judgment. It's either He is your Judge or your Savior. It's either you are gonna pay the price of your sins in hell for eternity or Jesus did. You decide! It was one fine day. The alarm rang at 3 o'clock. We didn't have any time to waste. Every second counts.
I needed to prepare for our mini-picnic and we had to leave in an hour. Time is rolling and here we are finding ourselves in the bus. My husband is the bus driver for a group consisting of 45 people headed to Bozen, Italy. The day is a Saturday and it was my birthday. My husband greeted me a happy birthday and he made sure he's first to greet. Oh, what a sweet husband i have from the Lord Jesus. A little bit more than a 3-hour drive and we arrived in Bozen. All went smoothly with the ride aside from a traffic congestion which lasted only a few minutes. We praised God for His protection for our trip. The day's plan was to go on a walking trip in ''Guntschapromenade.'' Having our picnic blanket with us, a cam, some food and grape juice and water, we are set for our day's tour. With the help of a handy navigator, we set off from the Bus parking place to the promenade. It took us 30 minutes by feet to arrive at our destination. There were two options one can have. One can either take the more challenging way or rather enjoy the panorama on an easy relax route. Yes, you got it right. We took the comfortable route. Then we found the bench, where we can eat our food and drink and sleep. It was the perfect place for our picnic. We are now overlooking the city of Bozen. Everything was just right. We had a tree that cast us shadow and the wind made the sun's heat bearable and it even lulled me to sleep. My husband had also taken some power naps while sitting and watching me sleep. After our needed break on that bench, we moved forward and continued the adventure. It was a good walking tour. The vineyard on the hillslope, the panorama under us, the well-maintained and prepared path, the man of my dreams walking with me and holding my hand, our conversations, the strength of our bones and muscles, the sane mind, the realization of a life that has been blessed, the beautiful creations in forms from flowers, trees and even cats and butterflies and waters, and rocks they all made the day, my day. My mom called to greet me a happy birthday, too. My sister wrote me a birthday greeting message and a sister in the Lord greeted as well. I am not dramatic but I am coming to an era in my life where everything doesn't just feel right and peaceful but it is indeed. All of these will never be when the Lord Jesus has not rescued me way way back in my childhood days. It is because of His saving grace that my life took a completely different route. A route which is even more beautiful than I can imagine and can even perceived of has the Lord given me and I am so grateful unto Him. I have set a mission to give gospel tracts as much as the number of my age. It didn't realize while in Bozen because it's a mixed public. I have german gospel tracts with me. It's a mission to be accomplished still and I am looking forward to call it done. The truth is, I am bought with the precious blood of the Lamb who took away the sins of the world. Jesus has paid the price of my sins. He who knew no sins became sins for us, yes, also for me. '' For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.'' 2 Corinthians 5:21 Yes, through faith in Jesus I become God's child. I love to give the good news of salvation. It has been given to me freely, such a precious priceless news---the gospel is, in which by grace thru faith in Jesus, I am saved from eternal hell. When somebody didn't obey the great commission and didn't preach the gospel to me, my life will be in utter darkness and void of any form of hope. Praise God, for He sent and equipped faithful messengers and bringers of the gospel that a wretched sinner may hear and come to repentance and faith in Him, in whom salvation is only found. Oh how I love Jesus because He first loved me. We arrived home at around 10 pm. We were on the go for around 18 hours. That rounded up my birthday. Praised be the Lord Jesus Christ forevermore. There are plenty of things that have transpired within the last few months since my last blog. I could never be thankful enough to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for His grace, for His wisdom and for His strength. In my last posting, i talked about discrimination in my job due to the pandemic measures that were implemented in which i cannot with clean conscience cooperate and I didn't. It meant for me a leave without pay which is crucial when I am the breadwinner of the family. I wasn't. In as much as I am indeed thankful for that, I am emphatizing for those who took the same position as i did and at the same time are breadwinners. I could not imagine the amount of difficulty and struggle that they have to go through.
It was on the third month of my leave, that I grew impatient as to how this saga will continue. Will they ever stop forcing people to be tested in order for them to carry out their work in the company? When yes, when? It was hard for me to have a clear mind as to how i view my future with the company. I have learned to love the kind of work that i was doing there. It wasn't much about the pay for we are paid most of us the minimum wage. At the same time, I also struggled as to how i should use my time in a redeeming way. Like the verse in Ephesians 5:16-17 Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.…'' I was entangled with my handy game addiction for which I am so grateful for God's deliverance. I had been able to stop that bad habit and all for the glory of God for He has granted me help as i called upon Him. Still, there has to be an answer for the question as what should I do next? Will I continue to wait until the compulsory testing is lifted? Will I compromise by wearing mask in my workplace even when I am acting against my conscience by so doing? The answer was a vague no. It was vague because I don't know what to do next. And so I brought the matter through prayer unto the Lord and He has opened me to a bright new idea which is to work independently. The Lord is so faithful. The idea grew and became a reality months later. I am now working for my own little company where i have a control as to what I do and when I do things. To God be the glory. |
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