If you haven't read the first part, it is the article down below if you want to. Moving forward, let me tell you how the pandemic narrative has changed me. Or probably, I was the whole time fearful over many things and this situation highlights that weakness. I was seeing to it that i always disinfect my hands and avoid by any means touching my face. My husband who's unaffected was also being harassed by me to do just as i did. I got irritated every single time and constantly I have to remind him not to touch his face. He's just unbothered about the theory that you can be infected through touching surfaces and then your face. He joined me with my disinfecting scheme and he kinda enjoys it. After all, he wants to cool me down from my anxieties. I was too scared then that I have decided for the two of us that I would go to stores alone. Since then, I am alone in buying our grocery needs. Just to tell you how bad it was. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. Now, my fear was real. In my mind, I have to protect my husband as I was driven so out of fear. But in no way can I protect him. In neither way I can protect myself too. Psalm 18:2 ''The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. '' This is truth, I cannot protect myself at all from any harm and sickness. To think that i can protect myself and my husband is an illusion. The Lord is our protector at all times.
Now, just to make it clear I believe that every human soul is precious. Ezekiel 33:11"Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. ...'' For every person that dies in association with this sickness, i can only be glad when they have lived their lives trusting Jesus Christ for their salvation. Then and only then can their deaths be counted as a true gain. Just like what Paul said: Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. This is for many of you, a strange set of thoughts. But for real christians, I hope we are in one page per our thinking. Today, it has been a couple of years since the whole pandemic narrative started. Many things have happened. My fear of any virus has vanished. I'm doing the normal thing of washing my hands when i have to. My husband can now go with me when he wills buying our grocery. I am no longer anxious when he touches his face while we are outside. I've changed and it is all because of God's work in my anxious helpless self. Whatever your opinion might be regarding the pandemic, I am encouraging you to look into www.free2shine.net They have plenty of resources and informations about our current situation. To not talk about topic such as this one or to avoid dealing with it in its entirety can be fatal for ourselves and others. I would continue this blog as long as God permits that I would still live the next days. God bless everyone!
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These last two years, I had went through a ton of experiences coupled with learnings and a growing faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. There I was, as this so called pandemic started at a battlefield. Let's go back to the time when it began. My work gave me the impression that everything was damn serious and scary. We were first in the line wearing mask for our protection and that we won't harm others through our mere presence. I said first because everything was still normal outside of our working area. No mask yet has to be worn. We had no idea about this sickness. But the laying down of the new rules and the implementing of it made it appear that something destructive and dangerous is about to happen. The cases happened at the workplace and to protect ourselves even more we geared up with a plastic body condom, face shield and a mask. Nobody knew exactly what to expect. But we are made to believe it is highly infectious so we have to be extra careful. We had to always disinfect our hands to avoid by all means catching that thing. The whole scenario is like of a horror movie. It caused inside of me a kind of panicking which i never had in my life. It scared me that I can cause others harm especially the vulnerable. I happened to be working for the elderly. Even when the nature of it didn't require me a direct contact with them, it still was my huge fear that i could somehow make one of them sick. I was no longer sure about my health. I became a threat to others in my own eyes. Every time some so called symptom is felt, i was not sure if i should rather stay home or be very careful while working. I was lost and my heart was crashed with fear and one day i just knew that i cannot continue being that way. My worried heart called upon the Lord and He at once has given me an answer through His word which was written on the calendar. It says in 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.
As a christian, i know that i too will die as 10 out of 10 do. I understand that I don't have the promise that a so-called highly infectious virus is not going to kill me. Yes, i can die because of it. But having read this verse, I felt a lot of relief from the fear that was slowly enslaving me. There was the assurance that the Lord is going to keep my faith in Him till my last breath. The evil one cannot take my faith from the Lord Jesus away. The Lord will sustain me that I will be able to complete the race of faith. The thought on God's sovereignty gave me such freedom from my fear of infecting others too. Knowing that God has the authority over our lives, how dare me to fear so dreadfully that others could die because of me infecting them. But i am weak and my Lord knows that. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 This is to be continued as this was basically just at the starting point of this so-called pandemic. I pray that if you happen to be reading this, you have been able to move out of the fear zone as the Lord has graciously relieved me from there. |
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